Mumma Pod

The job preceeding my first maternity leave I bent over backwards to accommodate the rota.

DS1 was due at change over so 2 weeks of annual leave was booked prior to my due date, so no mat leave had to be accounted for in the rota.

My on-calls were swapped into my 2nd trimester to leave the 3rd as clear as possible.

However my final on call was planned for when I was 36 weeks. We did 24 hr shifts first on call and after several on calls of being up all night I finally conceded that it was tough going.

So I arranged my own cover and approached the clinical lead to ask for locum pay for the colleague covering the singular shift.

I was initially told in a almost disbelieving manner that he didn’t think that it would be possible/ necessary!

Thankfully the unit manager set him straight. It was actually their request for all the other shifts that would require to be covered that caused a shift in my perception.

I realised the rotamaster has been pushing me too hard.

It was me, I was the rotamaster.

I was so concerned about minimising the impact that my pregnancy had on the department that I risked mine and my babies health. Without someone else’s perception of what was reasonable I hadn’t allowed myself any concessions.

DS2 I came off the on call rota at 28 weeks (oh as I’m 22 weeks today with number 3 – I should probably organise that!) and gave myself time to relax/ nest pre-baby.

I’m lying in bed the Wednesday before my prematernity annual leave starts on Friday. I’m living away from home (2.5hrs) and I have sent all but the most essential items (fit clothes I have pyjamas and work stuff only) and a small emergency birth rucksack home.

Its midnight I’m lying still and suddenly my pants are damp. My first thought – ‘wow, I really should have been more on it with kegel’s!’. I change and go back to bed and it happens twice more over night.

Although I was convinced that this baby would need induced and therefore I still had a month of pregnancy to go (my Dad booked holidays that meant my parents would need to leave on the inducement day) it had now occurred to me that maybe my waters had broken!

Fearful of having to admit that I had just wet myself I decide to complete the ward round before attending the midwives for a check up (work started at 8, the midwives 8.45).

Later my non-surgical friend said I was mad and would have phoned at midnight. Junior ortho regs recant this story with aww. So was I a Fool or a legend? I thought it was normal. What would you have done?

These are the things I currently feel guilty about . . . Resonate with anyone?

• Not recruiting a patient to my study in 6 months
• Holding my sons hand while he falls asleep. This one goes both ways. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
• Failing to progress the other 3-4+? 🤷‍♀️ projects I am working on
• Bribing my kids to eat their dinner with sweets
• All the money I have spent on courses, exams and diplomas
• Forgetting the weekly swimming lesson
• Working all the time (I’m 80%)
• To do list of over 100 items with only the ‘big stuff’
• Not going to karate/ dancing/ gym
• 161 emails flagged for attention
• Watching tv instead of going to the gym/ projects/ hobbies/ seeing friends
• My maternity jeans are too tight (why skinny jeans? why?)
• Failing to register for school learning app within the allotted month
• No gym kit on PE day
• Late sending of my nieces birthday card
• Ruining my baby’s future health with my pregnancy diet
• The English language – teaching someone to read, its mind boggling
• Using my phone and giving them my phone too much
• Shirking wifely duties
• The stack of BJJ’s still in their plastic wrap
• My non-existent beauty regime – when are wrinkles and a mono-brow going to be hot?
• Going out on my 18th because the hot guy was going out and not having family dinner – after all this time? Always!

Both of my kids have gone through stages of complete and total rejection of me – only darling Daddy would do.

My eldest I was heart broken, devastated. I envisioned a life time of rejection. Of being the second class parent (I was still just about preferable to compete and total strangers).

But eventually he came around and now we are both members of a mutual fan club. 🥰

When my second son started his daddy devotion stage I rejoiced. For with 4 am call for Daddy and every time he refused to walk but only Daddy could carry him I knew – ‘this too shall pass’ but for now I can stay in my bed!

The most unexpected benefit of pregnancy and babies in career terms has been their use in networking.

My first experience of a conference was BOA I took DS1 at 7 weeks as I had a paper to present. I took my sister and left him with her for an hour, while I dashed off panicking the whole time!

With DS2 I thought maternity leave was the perfect time to attend without the usual rota fight, but was somewhat surprised that I would be welcome at a conference with a baby. It was therefore with some trepidation that I set off with DS2 2 years ago, but amid the odd looks and curiosity, there was no open hostility and I was not hounded out of the auditorium as a pariah.

In fact I was approached by several people to say out pleased they were and how brave I was. One prominent member even took him for cuddle so I could listen (I still couldn’t – he’d refused a muslin, however my anxity over an impending vomgate or poonami, was thankfully unfounded).

I returned to the same conference last week with a very noticeable 21 week bump. I found that I was well remembered and managed to continue connections that I would never has otherwise been brave enough to peruse. Through these interactions I gained the confidence to speak to other people and even the highest members of the society.

I discovered the current president is keen to improve the family credentials of the conference and I have been asked to offer my views on their proposals. Perhaps somewhat unwisely, I promised to attend in the spring with my 4 week old baby so there will be as least 1 person using the breastfeeding room!

However – I can’t think of any other reason the president would have spoken to me and never in a million years did I think he would be begging me to bring my baby! We never know where the first step will take us . . .

I hope that by posting my stories and mishaps that I can inspire others to share in their own experience in the comments. I’m hoping at least that we can reassure each other we are not alone (please tell me it’s not just me!!) and at best help make someone’s day better when they need it!

“I always believed that one woman’s success can only help another woman’s success.” Gloria Vanderbilt